Divorce can present challenges for you to overcome even after it has been finalized. It would be easy to say that when your divorce papers have been signed that everything gets simpler. But that’s not reasonable. Your job, relationships, and interactions with your kids constantly evolve.
There are genuine reasons why your marriage ended. Great people find themselves in unhealthy marriages. To make the most out of the next chapter of your life, here are some ways to assist you with blending a family.
After leaving marriage—especially one that was unhealthy—discovering a new partner gives you new hope. The way you look at your future is altered. If you have children, you worry about how to incorporate this new person into their lives.
As eager as you are to build your new family, understand that it will take time. Even if your kids adore and accept your partner, that could change if and when that person becomes their stepparent. It is a new dynamic for them to accept and understand.
Allow their relationship with their stepparent to develop over time through experiences. Trips to the pumpkin patch, new holiday traditions, days at the park—these are the things that will provide the foundation for acceptance. And they take time.
Being a fantastic partner is different than being a valuable parent. Don’t wait until after you are married to discuss that. Kids crave structure. If you and your new partner are not on the same page regarding how you parent, you aren’t setting yourself up for success.
As the biological parent, you can explain how you have raised your kids. You can go over what you value in a parent, the way you handle conflict, and even explain how their lives have been structured (e.g., tv/screen time, phone usage, household chores). Because you are inviting someone else into your life to be a stepparent, you should listen as well. If you and your new partner are a team, your kids will notice.
If you share custody of your children, they will spend time with your ex—and potentially their new significant other. You don’t just have to consider how you parent inside of your own home. Things should not be completely different when they are at your ex-spouse’s house.
There is only so much you can control. Make the most of your situation by always keeping the line of communication open between you and your ex-spouse. A stepparent is an addition, not a replacement. Everyone who has a role in your kids’ lives should work to establish consistent rules.
At McKinnon Legal, we pride ourselves on delivering personalized and professional service to our clients. Our goal is to help you get out of an unhealthy marriage so that you can build your future. Contact us today to schedule your consultation.
